Finally, An Honest TV Commercial

Only in TV Land can a plastic bottle of Axe bodywash transform a nerdy adolescent into a chick magnet. There among the klieg lights, computer generated effects and make-up artists, anything can happen. Sugary cereals build muscle for Olympic athletes, and driving a Buick makes an insurance salesman feel like Tiger Woods. Warning kids: Don't try these tricks at home!

No thinking person actually believes the hype in those costly thirty-second messages, but that's not even important. Televised images cut directly to your subconscious where associations are made and deals are settled without your conscious involvement. That's what makes the medium so powerful. And that's what makes those Hulu commercials so sinister.

You know about Hulu- the website that broadcasts network TV shows after they air in prime time. Edgy commercials feature Alec Baldwin boasting that the rumors are true: TV really does rot your brain! It's a plot concocted by aliens who have infiltrated the planet. Their plan is to take over the planet, one gelatinized brain at a time. Everyone laughs and the regularly scheduled program returns.

It's probably not a plot cooked up by body snatching aliens, but the funny message is accurate. Watching television is corrosive- and not only to our brains, but our character. Think about it:

• Abe Lincoln forged his character splitting logs, and trained his mind by reading books by the light of a fireplace. Do you really think watching the Simpsons and Dancing with the Stars would accomplish the same results in an Abe Lincoln today?
• The typical American can identify Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Simon Cowell. That same average citizen cannot name the Vice President, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or his own congressman. Which kind of knowledge is more important?
• Fifty years ago, high school students studied maps and passed geography exams. Today's kids never look at a map because they can watch reality TV contestants race around exotic locales. They remember the contestants but recall nothing about the cities, the countries, the locations.
• A generation ago, families ate meals together and neighbors got together for social events and friendship building. Today we simply collapse into recliners aimed at giant TV screens, and never see our neighbors. Teen-agers actually get together with their friends to watch DVDs on TV screens.

A large share of Americans confess they get most of their news from monologues by Jay Leno and David Letterman. Never mind that comedians aren't trying to be fair or accurate. Their goal is to cop an attitude and get a laugh. But tens of thousands of Americans are making decisions about politics and policies based on hip attitudes and punch lines.

Television sells image, hedonism, materialism, and immediate gratification. And there's a reason those Super Bowl commercials are so expensive: most of them work. Americans used to value self-control. Today we live for self-indulgence. Granted, the problem is bigger than just TV. Life in America has become an outrageous three ring circus of debauchery. But TV is the ringmaster who tells us what to watch.

We all know we need to do something about this. Unfortunately, this drug piped directly into our homes is also addictive. "I'll think about this later," we resolve, "After Letterman!"