Quite by accident last week, I came across a paperback book which had been misplaced in one of the dark corners of a closet. In the process of returning it to my office, I glanced once again at the closing chapter. In To Own a Dragon, Donald Miller describes what it's like to grow up without a father.

He recalls thinking, "It's so hard to believe God did not abandon us." He describes feeling ambivalent- as though God is a really nice guy, on one hand. But on the other hand, it feels like he's busy with other kids and doesn't have time for us. Having been abandoned by his own dad who had other projects that mattered more, Miller remembers that he could never accept the idea that he was really not a burden to this distant, distracted God.

I revisited that chapter last week. This week it was an article in the Wall Street Journal that reached out and grabbed me. The headline explained, "THIS IS YOUR BRAIN WITHOUT DAD." According to the article, scientists in Germany have found that "growing up without a father actually changes the way your brain develops." The research involved a variety of small rodents in which both male and female parents remain together to raise their offspring. What they found was that the absence of a male parent actually hardwires the brains of the offspring differently. Compared to typical two parent animals, the rodents raised by a single parent are consistently more aggressive and more impulsive. The scientists found that the neurons of one parent rodents were noticeably different from those of two parent animals after only 21 days! It wasn't just a matter of environment leading to attitudes. Their brains had literally developed differently!

Of course, it doesn't require rocket science- or animal science- to observe that fatherlessness creates hazards for boys and girls. Fatherless kids in the inner city are more likely to wind up in violent gangs. Fatherless kids in wealthy suburbs are more likely to engage in dangerous activity involving sex and drugs. Some fathers have physically abandoned their kids. Others have simply departed mentally. Without a doubt, many have been shoved away by self-centered moms who aren't willing to pay the price for family.

The saddest thing of all is that Americans have been seduced by the notion that this is okay. Shouldn't everyone be free to choose? The more choices we have, the more opportunities we can seize- theoretically! But in reality, even animal research shows that some kids don't get as many choices. Children who don't have fathers can never choose certain benefits and assets because their brains have developed quite differently- out of sight and behind the scenes.

In American culture, fatherhood is treated like an option that costs too much in terms of time, energy, and self fulfillment. How blessed is the boy or girl who enjoys the essential benefit of a godly dad. To steal a phrase from a card company, fatherhood is what happens when you care enough to give your child the very best.

The Mystery of the Missing Spirit

What a difference the Holy Spirit makes! On Sunday morning, our church family and I were exploring the difference between the Natural Life (Self+Flesh+Conscience) and the Spiritual Life (Self+Flesh+Holy Spirit.) Our text in 1 Corinthians 3 had brought us to that old question: "What is a carnal Christian?" I actually employed diagrams to define the differences. This seemed like a very basic concept, and I wanted to make it clear to the most unschooled disciple in the room.

Wow! What a concept! I got so many questions afterward. There were questions from unbelievers who are seeking Christ among us. There were questions from long time Christians whom I respect and admire. My immediate conclusion was obvious: Though I frequently mention the Holy Spirit, I clearly haven't taught my church all the things they need to know. In the future, I am resolved to be more deliberate in presenting the practical truths of spiritual living.

One of my favorite texts is Galatians 5:16 "So I say, walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh." The Spirit is not some abstract metaphor for enthusiasm. He is a person, a part of the Godhead, a force that guides and empowers believers.

More than two decades ago, Protestant churches looked at the upsurge among Charismatic churches and we asked what they could teach us. We finally concluded that our non-Charismatic worship was not enthusiastic enough, so we've been tweaking and editing our worship styles for a whole generation. Now worship style has been transformed in most Protestant churches, but Charismatic Christianity continues to change the landscape all around the world.

Maybe we learned the wrong lesson. Could it be we failed to recognize that "pentecostal" style churches were worshipping differently because their people were more willing to be influenced by the wind of God's Spirit? Maybe it wasn't our hymns that were out of sync, but our hearts!

This is not to say that Charismatic worship got everything right! In their exuberance, our "spirit-filled" friends have often become distracted and even divided by bizarre gimmicks like laughing revivals, being slain in the spirit, generational demons, etc. etc. But you have to wonder if they didn't get one thing spot on: we must instruct the Church in what it means to live in the Spirit. Walking with Christ = walking in the Spirit. So how is that done?

I love to reflect on all the wonderful truths the Holy Spirit has taught me from Scripture and helped me apply to life. I can fondly recall all the amazing adventures I've enjoyed under His direct leadership. I can recount so many miracles I have experienced as a result of His working. And I look at myself and ask: why didn't you talk about this more often? Why didn't all of us?

Why They Don't Book Prophets on the Tonight Show

By now everybody knows about David Letterman's recent confession. Almost nothing shocks me anymore, but one aspect of his announcement was jarring: the audience laughed. As Letterman soberly explained what had occurred and how he planned to repair the damage from his bad behavior, most of the audience laughed repeatedly.

Some have suggested the audience members thought this was some kind of sketch. Maybe so, but it wasn't funny. Letterman wasn't smiling or mocking or reading a script. Watching the announcement the next day on YouTube, I could only wonder, "Will these people laugh any anything?" A few days later, a well known New York media critic exclaimed that this was the best moment in television since a popular movie star appeared on a late night show ten years ago to explain his tryst with a prostitute in a taxi cab!

This is what passes for popular entertainment at a time when many in the Church have argued that we must be more in tune with pop culture! Leaders of the Emerging Church not only celebrate the popular culture in their their sermons, but insist that we all must become more "relevant." If people are looking for spiritual truth in racy movies and vulgar TV shows, we need to be familiar with those movies and TV programs. Otherwise, we look out of touch and "irrelevant" to our media savvy generation.

Several years ago, Os Guinness wrote a book with a difficult title: Prophetic Untimeliness. The skinny little volume has a more vivid subtitle: A Challenge to the Idol of Relevance. He explains that the measure of relevance in our culture is timeliness- does our truth easily mesh with the perceived values and needs of this moment in history? The idea that Jesus Christ is the only way to God is very offensive to intellectuals who believe all roads lead to God. So in the name of relevance, we should downplay that idea or forget about it entirely. If the Virgin Birth is hard for our generation to swallow, let's just lose it! And if Americans are more interested in saving the environment than saving souls, let's pick up a cross and lead the "Ban CO2" parade.

Guinness explains that the nature of prophetic truth requires that it frequently seems irrelevant to our age. That is, a prophet tells us the things we don't want to hear. He can be absolutely and eternally right, but seem utterly out of sync with our age. If we aren't willing to be out of step with our society, we can't possibly live out the Wisdom of God- or speak it.

In 1 Corinthians 1:17, Paul explains that our presentation of God's truth can become so eloquent, so smoothly crafted, that we empty the Gospel of its power! There are many times when we simply need to allow the Word of God to strike a spiritual blow; to be experienced it all its irrelevant, offensive, timeless glory. Sadly, that doesn't happen very often in the Relevant Churches of 2009, and many in our culture are laughing all the way to the Grave.