Losing It!

This blog is the sixth in a series, "The Top Ten Questions People Ask Pastors."

Of all the questions asked of me this year, this one must surely be #5 in frequency. "Aren't there verses in the Bible that suggest a believer can actually lose his salvation?"

There is at least one verse that might suggest that, but only if you take it out of context. In fact, most people who raise this question are thinking of Hebrews 6: 4 - 6. "For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened- those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the Word of God and the power of the age to come- and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance for by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross once agains and holding him up to public shame."

The problem is that the author of Hebrews is not describing Christians who fall from grace. In every first century church there were Jews and even Gentiles who met with the church on a regular basis, seeking Christ. In many cases, those seekers actually became convinced that Jesus Christ was real and faith was important. But because of fiery persecution by Jewish neighbors and the resentment of their own Jewish families, many retreated from the church and chose to delay their decision until a time when it would be safe to do so. By sharing in worship with true believers, they tasted the goodness of the Word of God and experienced the Holy Spirit working in people all around them. That is, they felt the Word of God resonate with their own hearts, and they saw the power of the Spirit working in the lives of others.

But when they dropped out of worship to escape persecution, they didn't lose their faith. They had never made a commitment. Rather, they were simply rejecting Jesus Christ and refusing to deal with him while he was dealing with them. "Seek the Lord while he may be found," Isaiah 55:6 counsels us all. "Call upon him while he is near." In other words, we are not guaranteed that God's Holy Spirit will continue to deal with us year after year while we delay and postpone. God is obligated to extend his grace to us once, but not forever!

In the verses that follow Hebrews 6: 4 - 6, the writer compares the people who fell away to land which is fertilized and watered but finally brings forth only thorns and thistles rather than fruit. He adds that they are worthless. Bearing fruit is always the New Testament analogy for people who receive salvation and are changed by it. People who don't bear fruit have not experienced salvation. (See Luke 8: 4 - 21.)

So there is one verse which, taken out of context, can suggest falling from grace. By contrast, there are numerous very clear verses which, taken in context, clearly affirm eternal security for believers. In John 6:38-40, for example, Jesus says, "For I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not my own will. And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them up at the last day. For it is the Father's will that all who see his Son and believer I him should have eternal life. I will raise them up on the last day."

Another personal favorite of mine is Ephesians 1: 14, "The Spirit is God's guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised us." The Greek text literally says we are sealed with the spirit who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance." The term sealed refers to the Law of the Medes and Persians which required that once a king sealed a law, he could not change it even if he wanted to. For instance, after the Babylonian king sealed the law requiring the execution of anyone praying to another god, he was forced to carry it out even when he learned the offender was his trusted friend Daniel!

So the Bible does not gurantee us that God will deal with any lost person forever. No wise person should ever presume that just because God is dealing with him, this will always be an option for him. But we are promised that once we come to Christ, we are sealed by the Holy Spirit and kept by the saving power of Christ Jesus our Lord.

Selah.

Together in Worship

This blog is part of a series, "The Top Ten Questions People Ask Pastors." These may not be the top ten all time questions, but they are the ones I've fielded most commonly over the last year.

The sixth most common question for pastors is this: "How can I persuade my spouse to attend church with me?" This is a particularly thorny question because people tend to make marriage decisions when they're young and fairly immature. When you're single and twenty-something, the features you might find most appealing in a prospective date would probably be good looks, a sense of humor, good taste in clothes, and a bubbly personality. Only ten years later and thinking about children, the qualities that matter most in a relationship will likely shift all the way across the spectrum to stability, willingness to work, a mature worldview, and- yes! -a faith similar to yours.

And herein lies the problem! You wake up one day and you're a thirty year old parent of two children. You want to give your kids every possible benefit to grow up healthy, follow Jesus Christ, and become a healthy disciple. But that person who used to be so fun at movies and football games has no interest in Jesus Christ or putting the kids first. Now what? Now you have a spouse who doesn't share your faith.

That's why churches, spiritual leaders and parents should be so consistent in what they teach kids about dating. Bottom line: don't date people who aren't believers. Don't be unequally yoked, as Paul wrote the Corinthians. Don't attempt missionary dating. You may not convert that cute boy or girl who has such a winning personality, but you may fall in love anyway.

But let's get back to the original question. You're married and your husband or wife has no interest in church or worship or fellowship. Is there anything you can do to motivate your spouse to show up at church at your side? No doubt, this is a tough assignment. But now that we agree it's difficult, allow me to offer some basic suggestions.

1. Make worship and Bible Study one of your highest priorities. Don't act self-righteous. Don't be critical or walk out in a huff. Don't start arguments and walk out with your Bible, slamming the door behind you. But lovingly, consistently, eagerly get dressed and participate in worship and Bible Study. If you have children, get them up and dressed without complaining and teach them the value of time with God.

I've known many church members who decided to stay home and wait until a husband or wife is finally willing to make it a family experience. Almost 100% of the time, the unbelieving spouse drags the religious spouse down. You rarely if ever see those families again. Waiting for your unbelieving spouse to cultivate an appetite for worship may take longer than you think- like eternity!

2. Live like your husband's life (or your wife's) depends on your faith. Don't let down your guard at home. Don't complain and gossip about other people at church. Don't let other religious people come to your home and behave that way around your spouse. Don't fly off the handle and curse when things go wrong. Don't criticize your spouse- and especially don't criticize his or her lack of faith. Apologize when your use poor judgment or say harsh things. Include your husband or wife in your disciplines at home; pray for your spouse or, if possible, with your spouse. Invite your loved one to sit with you when you're reading your Bible. Read it aloud some time.

3. Let your spouse see the real benefits of your faith. If you're a man, let your wife see that your are determined to love her like Christ loved the church because that's how Jesus tells you to love her. If you're a woman, be sure your husband knows that one reason you respect him so much is because Christ commands you to submit to your husband. Be generous with your spouse. Be patient. Love unconditionally because that's how followers of Jesus Christ love others.

4. Ask some of your closest Christian friends to pray regularly for your spouse's salvation. Don't talk about it publicly. Ask them not to mention it publicly. But assemble a network of loving, godly people who are praying for your spouse's salvation and looking for opportunities to plant seeds of faith.

5. Don't ever give up. Years ago I came across a riveting remark by an atheist. He argued that he didn't believe in Chritianity and he didn't believe in Hell. But then he added that if he really were a Christian and really did believe in Hell, he would crawl across England on broken glass if he could keep one person from going to a place so dreadful! If you really are a Christian and you really do believe in Hell, don't you think there's a price you should be willing to pay if you could just get your spouse in the gates as well? So you have to endure some inconvenience and live a rigorous, disciplined life at home. So you have to put up with some second guessing. If you have pledged your life and your love to this person of the opposite sex and have perhaps even had a child or two with this person, isn't this person's salvation worth some sacrifice?

Stay the course and live for Christ in season and out. I can't promise you that your spouse will ever wake up and get saved. But someday you'll stand before God and you'll be aware of every occasion in your life when you failed to realize your spiritual potential. Be sure that when you one day enter eternity, you depart having made your witness to your spouse one of your highest priorities.

Selah.

How Old is Old Enough?

This blog is the fifth in a series, "The Top Ten Questions People Ask Pastors."

Top Question #7: How can I know if my child is old enough to be baptized?

I always approach this question with a bit of personal bias. I became a follower of Jesus Christ when I was five years old. I was actually called into ministry at age six. And over all those years when other boys fantasized about being cowboys or astronauts or Marines, my sense of calling never wavered. As it happened, however, my parents had this conviction that a person should not be baptized until he was older and underwent some kind of 'emotional experience.' So I was compelled to wait for baptism until I was fifteen years old when an understanding pastor finally took time to talk with my mom.

As a result, there are some cautions I always set forth whenever parents ask when a child who loves Jesus should be baptized.

1. You should ensure that your child is old enough to remember this event. There is a phase in every child's life, somewhere in the range of 4-6 years of age, when vivid recent memories are suddenly dumped into the irretrievable memory file. One day the lad remembers all the details of the trip to Disney World at three. A few weeks later, memories like that are all gone. As a parent should be sure your child has already undergone that development before baptism.

2. Children are very susceptible to peer pressure. If a sibling or close friend has recently been baptized, your child may very likely be swept along in the desire not to be left out of something fun. Mom and Dad should ensure that a child is being immersed because of his own convictions, not merely the decision of a friend or sibling.

3. Before being baptized, a boy or girl should be capable of going through a month-long study with Mom or Dad to explore the basics of the Christian faith: Jesus Christ, prayer, worship, etc. There are numerous books and resources which are age appropriate and excellent for this kind of study. Here at Providence, we recommend Now that I'm a Christian by William Young, or I'm a Christian Now by Capps and Shaw.

4. Finally, there are some core concepts a child should understand. Of course these things will be understood with more clarity and sophistication later in life, but they're so important that they should be in a boy or girl's mind in some form from the beginning.

• What is sin? Does your child understand why he or she is a sinner?


• Why did Jesus die? Does your child understand that Christ exchanged his perfect life for our sinful ones?


• What is baptism? Can your child grasp that baptism is a symbol for dying to a life of sin and self, and being raised to life a godly life by faith?

Experience teaches us that most boys and girls are able to think in terms like this somewhere beyond the age of nine or ten years old. When a younger child first surfaces the idea of baptism, you'll often find it will pass if simply deferred for a couple of months. For the purposes of memory and understanding, slightly older is better. But if your seven year old son or daughter persists in talking about faith in Christ and the importance of baptism, give it some thought and prayer. You might even want to talk with your pastor or a ministerial staff member. But whatever you do, don't make it a point of anger of frustration.

Selah.