Some friends and I spent the morning at a NRA firing range a few weeks ago. We were accompanied by a gun enthusiast who opened the trunk of his automobile and unpacked the most amazing arsenal of dangerous toys and ammo! We fired a Smith & Wesson 500, the most powerful handgun in the world. With the right cartridge, it will stop a charging elephant! We had a Kel-Tech SU 22 rifle which was so deadly accurate that even I racked up 4 bulls eyes in 6 shots! We laughed and blasted away at paper targets for three hours.
The guys and I are part of a Life Group that meets in my home every other Friday night. There are couples and singles from a range of ages and ethnic backgrounds. Some have kids and others are retired. We always spend an hour in lively discussion of one passage in the Bible or another. Otherwise, we talk and laugh and eat; and the last person usually leaves somewhere around 11:00 - 11:30 PM! One night we actually got everyone outside by 11:00 but then they all stood around talking and admiring the stars until after midnight!
In the Bible, deep friendships among the people of God can be found in almost every chapter. But it can be a lot more difficult to find those kinds of friendships in American churches today. Too often we find that Christians have "church friends" and then they have real friends, but the two groups don't overlap. A real friend is someone you could call with a problem at 2:00 AM. Most of us wouldn't dream of disturbing our church friends at that hour. What would they think of me?
I suspect that last question is very revealing: "what would they think of me?" It makes sense that some people might not want friends at church. Maybe I'm afraid that my life won't pass inspection. So I mingle in the parking lot and chit chat with my church friends, but then I meet my real friends on the golf course where I can lighten up and be myself. It's hard acting like a saint while you're trying to hit that unpredictable little white ball with demonic dimples!
I once heard a preacher argue that we'd all be better off if God would just write our sins on our foreheads so that everyone could see them. Then there would be no point in trying to conceal them or pretend I'm perfect or sinless or nearly beatified. I could just be myself- a guy who needs Christ because I'm not so together. It would be okay to act that way if everybody already knew the truth, wouldn't it?
I've told our folks at Providence that "church friends" are a rip-off and a cheap substitute. We should settle for nothing less than real friends. True friendship is one of the most satisfying and essential blessings the Christian faith offers. Sure, it's work. It requires making allowance for the sins and peculiarities of others, even as you recognize that you're not The Finished Product either. It requires dealing with that constantly nagging fear of rejection. What if they don't like me? What if I'm not good enough?
Remember those lyrical words from 1 John 4:18? "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
John isn't describing what perfect love will be like in Heaven. He's talking about what the love of Christ makes possible for you and me on the Earth today. Even in a world of dissension and distrust, we can experience a kind of love that is alien to this planet. We can experience the unconditional commitment of other forgiven sinners who can understand my struggles because they have been there.
Guns are one form of security, but they don't really cast out fear. Even people holding loaded weapons experience fear from time to time. But love is more powerful than guns. When I love someone, I am suddenly able to set aside my fears and act in faith. I'm not afraid of being rejected. I'm not afraid of failing to measure up. I'm not afraid of looking like a sinner; I already do. I set my fears aside and walk in faith with other people who love Jesus.
If this sounds too good to be true, take a few minutes and read 1 John 4. Authentic friendship is the most overlooked topic in 1 John, and it's the best kept secret in the Church. We can really love each other because Jesus first loved us.
Selah.
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