Is it love or lust? A manly seaman leans over to the comely young woman seated on the bar stood next to him. He buys her one drink and then another. He takes her by the arm and gently escorts her to a nearby table where he confesses that he loves her deeply and would be willing to die for her. They talk for an hour, and then he asks if she'd like to come over to his place and allow him to express his love- in the bedroom. She responds firmly that she is flattered by the invitation, but that she'd never consider a one-night stand with a stranger. Fifteen minutes later he's back at the bar hitting on another girl. The young lady at the table will never see him again. Love or lust? I think we'd all agree that's not a love story.
So what kind of story is this? A fair-skinned Christian visits a rough inner city neighborhood an encounters a desperate teen-ager who lives there in the hood. The would-be missionary offers the kid a gospel tract and a church business card. He confesses his deep Christian love for this young person and expresses great sympathy for these difficult living conditions. He shares the Plan of Salvation. He looks perplexed when the inner city youth declines to follow Jesus today. Fifteen minutes the Christian is over by the basket ball court professing his love for another prospective disciple. The first kid will never see him again. Is that love or lust?
It can't be lust: it wasn't about sex, was it? No, it wasn't about sex. But it wasn't about love either! What do you call it when you profess to love another person, but it's really just a ploy to help them give you what you really want? Some "lovers" just want sex. Some "lovers" just want to see another person make a spiritual decision. Neither one is interested in a long term friendship.
I hope this doesn't offend you. It's not a personal attack. I've done the same sorts of things over the years. And sometimes I've seen people profess Christ, get saved, and become serious disciples. In many cases, we've remained friends for years, even decades. But most of those professions of love were made to people who never saw me again. I never helped them when they were hungry, jobless, sick or discouraged. I didn't dislike them, but I didn't love them- not really.
The Bible says that love never walks away with a casual, "God bless you! I hope you find some food for your family!" Spiritual Lust does that all the time. Love cares about hearts and stomachs as well as souls.
God is dealing with me about how I have helped widen the gap between the church and the world. I tend to get offended when I learn that secular people believe Christians are hypocritical. The accusation bothers me because I don't secretly get stoned, hire hookers, or participate in other gross immoralities. But in fact, I have misunderstood the issue. Unchurched people don't suspect we're really immoral: they think we're really unloving.
They suspect we are simply lusting after their souls. They insist our professions of true love are insincere and uncommitted. I have stopped asking God to change them. I am asking him to change me.
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